look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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