Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
