So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
