I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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