I think I am morally bankrupt
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
