sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
