My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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