Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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