He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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