and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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