the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
