I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
