I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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