But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
What a dumb baby whore.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
