i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
