eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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