Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Did I show you my penis last night?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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