i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
