I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
