my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
