Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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