Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
