hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
