i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
