Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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