yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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