I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
