My nipple is on Facebook.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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