He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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