What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
