I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
