Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
how does that bad decision feel?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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