how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
