she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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