Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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