going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
