you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
