I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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