jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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