he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
