We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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