Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
