All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
