it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
