carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
everyone is single if you try hard enough
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
