What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
it's great music for shaving your balls
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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