You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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