I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
