The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
