Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
