I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize