All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
