Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
